ben vandgrift · on living the dream

Weilu's Journal - Outside Selgaunt

In the weeks since I abandoned the service of the Tanthul family, I have found a certain beauty in the world around me. The people of this little country are ever helpful and welcoming, without malice or subterfuge.

In other words, completely alien.

Despite the foreign-ness of the bright world i have come to think of as the surface, I find myself smiling, relaxing into the gentleness of the summer wind, and enjoying the fragrance of the lilacs.

Poppy is beautiful, in exactly the same way a lioness is beautiful. She is running through her morning kata, just below me in the courtyard—muscles relaxes and smooth, skin tight and tanned. Her body conserves its considerable power, the beastly weapon my people have taken to calling 'Halo' carouseling around her body as if it is made of paper rather than enchanted steel. Watching her now is like watching her then, in that shattered town. I am entranced, helpless before her hypnotic grace. Even before she struck down the Shadow Lord to which I had been thralled, I knew that I was going to leave his service and follow this beauty.

As it happenned, every shade and shadow was driven away by that last shining stroke dealt to my old master. As he fell and blinding brilliance flooded the streets, the bonds which bound me were broken.

The opportunity to present myself favorably didn't appear for many days, but I was able to use that time to look at the people of Cormyr and witness the abundance of life in a land ruled by the sun. It would seem, then, that I fell in love twice. No man could ask for more.

As Tilverton fell, as she and my lord fought their she n'thess she did not see me. As I followed her south, she did not see me. She does not even see me now, though she knows I am near. Even when I stand before her she does not see me, not as I wish. But that is fair—love is not something which can be forced. I will continue to wait.

My people are very good at waiting.

(ling ref: she n'thess (netherese): 'duel of opposites', 'vendetta of conflicting nature')

written: May 19 2003